This is my story...
( I posted this on some other LJ page during one of my whining sessions...I thought I might as well start out this blog by telling of the events that you'll most likely hear me aluding to in some way shape or form in later posts if this blog ends up being anything like my other one)
Summer of 2004 I had a kind of falling out with the group of friends I was with at the time. As I was all hurt and lonely it came to my attention that the youth group at our church was kind of just there, they all showed up for events and stuff, but they really didn't know each other....
I was 21 at this time and I dunno maybe I just hated the fact I never really had much of a youth group to speak of when I was in my early teens so I took it upon myself to unite the youth group which turned out to be a huge success. For the first time in at least 17 years or so the Pearland Church of Christ's youth group was based in firm meaningful real friendship and it worked wonders as we were hanging out not only during youth events but on our own time as well. It als worked wonders for me spiritually as being surrounded by Christians you really can feel yourself molding into a more Christlike person. Some of the best, most meaningful friendships I've ever known were formed that summer... or so I thought....
November of that same year the youth minister comes to me out of the blue and tells me that he believes I am too old to be participating with the youth group.... which I wholly agree on. I'm 22 at this point and have no business being in the youth group... but then he goes too far and goes and tells these kids that they are to have nothing to do with me. Not to speak to me, Talk to me on AIM, or hang out with me. ( So much for the Church being one big family of God hunh?)
I understand that yes, maybe I did need a group of friends closer to my age, but I'm afraid that's something our church didn't have to offer. And to have them all turn on me like that over something as trivial as a 7-5 year age gap is nothing short of shallow... No christian has any scriptural right to sever fellowship with another christian short of them falling from the fold and refusing to return.
I tried to go on there but every service just made me more angry, every time I looked into faces of friends I loved and saw nothing but perhaps a blank stare if they even would look my direction at all... it got to me... How could they follow orders so blantly unchristian? How could they even call themselves a church? They were nothing short of a social club.... I realise these thoughts were steeped in anger and may not be even remotely true but the more you emmerse yourself in them the more real they seemed.
The last straw came this past October when our church has it's annual paintball trip, an event that anyone who wants to go to is welcome to come to. The night before, I find an IM on my computer from the youth minister telling me that " I think it would be better for all of us if you didn't come" and that Sunday he has the nerve to write an article about how everyone working together on the field was symbolic of how we as christians work together in our lives too... so apparently I'm not a member of the family then am I?
The month after that we had our church camping trip. I was determined I was not going to let hate and anger seep over my soul. "If he doesn't want me hanging out with the kids then maybe I can make friends with him." I thought to myself. But try as I might to even make the simplest of conversations with the man I might as well been invisible. He was avoiding me and making a quite obvious effort to do so.
I hate that it seems one single man has made me leave that church but when he has painted me as some kind of lepor to those kids and wants nothing to do with me myself. It makes it kind of hard to listen to him when he's preaching from the pulpit or things like that wouldn't you think? He didn't directly ask me to leave, but he damn well made sure I felt unwelcome there. He asked me to leave with actions, not words.
I've been visiting around at various churches over these past few months, but I know I won't totally be over thing for a long time to come... just the thought that christian brethern would do that to each other makes me sick to my stomach... but I'll work through this eventally... the LORD will never abandon me.
Summer of 2004 I had a kind of falling out with the group of friends I was with at the time. As I was all hurt and lonely it came to my attention that the youth group at our church was kind of just there, they all showed up for events and stuff, but they really didn't know each other....
I was 21 at this time and I dunno maybe I just hated the fact I never really had much of a youth group to speak of when I was in my early teens so I took it upon myself to unite the youth group which turned out to be a huge success. For the first time in at least 17 years or so the Pearland Church of Christ's youth group was based in firm meaningful real friendship and it worked wonders as we were hanging out not only during youth events but on our own time as well. It als worked wonders for me spiritually as being surrounded by Christians you really can feel yourself molding into a more Christlike person. Some of the best, most meaningful friendships I've ever known were formed that summer... or so I thought....
November of that same year the youth minister comes to me out of the blue and tells me that he believes I am too old to be participating with the youth group.... which I wholly agree on. I'm 22 at this point and have no business being in the youth group... but then he goes too far and goes and tells these kids that they are to have nothing to do with me. Not to speak to me, Talk to me on AIM, or hang out with me. ( So much for the Church being one big family of God hunh?)
I understand that yes, maybe I did need a group of friends closer to my age, but I'm afraid that's something our church didn't have to offer. And to have them all turn on me like that over something as trivial as a 7-5 year age gap is nothing short of shallow... No christian has any scriptural right to sever fellowship with another christian short of them falling from the fold and refusing to return.
I tried to go on there but every service just made me more angry, every time I looked into faces of friends I loved and saw nothing but perhaps a blank stare if they even would look my direction at all... it got to me... How could they follow orders so blantly unchristian? How could they even call themselves a church? They were nothing short of a social club.... I realise these thoughts were steeped in anger and may not be even remotely true but the more you emmerse yourself in them the more real they seemed.
The last straw came this past October when our church has it's annual paintball trip, an event that anyone who wants to go to is welcome to come to. The night before, I find an IM on my computer from the youth minister telling me that " I think it would be better for all of us if you didn't come" and that Sunday he has the nerve to write an article about how everyone working together on the field was symbolic of how we as christians work together in our lives too... so apparently I'm not a member of the family then am I?
The month after that we had our church camping trip. I was determined I was not going to let hate and anger seep over my soul. "If he doesn't want me hanging out with the kids then maybe I can make friends with him." I thought to myself. But try as I might to even make the simplest of conversations with the man I might as well been invisible. He was avoiding me and making a quite obvious effort to do so.
I hate that it seems one single man has made me leave that church but when he has painted me as some kind of lepor to those kids and wants nothing to do with me myself. It makes it kind of hard to listen to him when he's preaching from the pulpit or things like that wouldn't you think? He didn't directly ask me to leave, but he damn well made sure I felt unwelcome there. He asked me to leave with actions, not words.
I've been visiting around at various churches over these past few months, but I know I won't totally be over thing for a long time to come... just the thought that christian brethern would do that to each other makes me sick to my stomach... but I'll work through this eventally... the LORD will never abandon me.
posted by Ross at 7:38 PM
1 Comments:
Ross, you're right, the Lord will never abandon you. You're REAL story is that you are a child of God, filled with His Spirit and deeply loved by HIM!
What happened to you is a situation that was handled completely wrong by the adults involved! I feel kinda sorry for the kids because they probably had no idea what was really going on. They were just doing as they were told (which is what children are supposed to do!). It probably won't be until they are older that they will understand.
I pray for you all the time that you will find a church where the is HEALTHY communication and where you can feel the presence of God and build some strong Christian relationships. I also pray that you will let go of the anger so that the devil won't have a foothold and that you'lll be filled with God's peace that passes all understanding.
As I've told you before, God has better things in store for you!
Keep blogging. I'll be checking!
Love ya!
Liz
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