Homesick, Depressed, Pessimistic, Whining... Enjoy!
Sorry for the huge lapse in posting... I really suck at updating things unless I'm depressed it seems, I hate it, but alas that is the case, so here's a bunch of depressed whiney banter...
I know it's all in my head but, I've had one of those weeks where I don't feel like I really belong here
I've been missing home alot lately, and have even been wondering if I've done anything worthwhile around here. I know I've touched lives, but it's just hard to see the effects of that in a short period of time.
I miss my family.... I miss my friends that knew each other so well sometimes we wouldn't even have to say a word to know what the other was thinking
And even the minor things like going to a burger place and not having to specify that you want mustard instead of mayo
I miss grass.... real, fluffy, soft grass
... I miss feeder roads dangit, they'de do wonders for the 101...
I've met so many great, wonderful people here that I would have never known other wise...
I came to touch lives, and that's what I plan to do !!!
but still... I know it's all in my head and total crap, but sometimes, I just don't fill like I fit in here anywhere... I suppose all that is just part of missing my friends who all knew each other so well.
We were inseperable...we'de been together since 10th grade... gone our seperate ways through colleges, Iraq, fights, makeups, and countless RPGs, knew each other backwards and forwards...and well... I knew I fit in there, without a doubt in my mind, and now they're 2000 miles away...
All this not even to mention Caleb, my little brother ( you don't need blood or papers to tell you who you family is) Even when I was in Pearland, Caleb was still an hour and a half away... it seemed so far at the time, but I'de gladly make the drive 5 times over right now to visit him and his aboslutely wonderful family right now.
... it all just seems so far away right now... like another planet, or a distant dream... or even another lifetime.
So yea, it snowed today.... come to think of it that might have been what triggered my homesickness ... I like called mom to tell her it was snowing
the simplest things can make my mom so happy sometimes... it's one of the things I've tried to emulate in my own life
she LOVES all things nature too... I remember we took her to Sedona when they were visiting, and she actually cried at the beauty... some people would call that sappy, but I think it's so awsome that someone can get that much enjoyment out of God's creation
yea... you think I'm nice, I'm a troll compared to my mom... I hate we have to be so far away.
Why does it seem I can only blog when I'm depressed? I hate that. I get on here and just whine to the internet... and when that's all you do you look back on your blog and think "man, I'm whiney" ... that's not how I like to look back on myself as, but maybe it's the truth.
I feel like my faith has been put to the test alot lately. I'm grateful for that in a way, because if you faith is never challenged, you never know why you believe in what you belive in, but still, it leaves you feeling beat up and tired in a way physical activity could never do.
Sorry for whining into this thing for so long ... if you're still reading this thank you.
I hate fishing for compliments more than anything else in the world but I need to hear nice things right now... help?
Have I made an impact on your life in any way? And if so... how?
I love you guys, and I'll talk to you later!
-Ross-
I know it's all in my head but, I've had one of those weeks where I don't feel like I really belong here
I've been missing home alot lately, and have even been wondering if I've done anything worthwhile around here. I know I've touched lives, but it's just hard to see the effects of that in a short period of time.
I miss my family.... I miss my friends that knew each other so well sometimes we wouldn't even have to say a word to know what the other was thinking
And even the minor things like going to a burger place and not having to specify that you want mustard instead of mayo
I miss grass.... real, fluffy, soft grass
... I miss feeder roads dangit, they'de do wonders for the 101...
I've met so many great, wonderful people here that I would have never known other wise...
I came to touch lives, and that's what I plan to do !!!
but still... I know it's all in my head and total crap, but sometimes, I just don't fill like I fit in here anywhere... I suppose all that is just part of missing my friends who all knew each other so well.
We were inseperable...we'de been together since 10th grade... gone our seperate ways through colleges, Iraq, fights, makeups, and countless RPGs, knew each other backwards and forwards...and well... I knew I fit in there, without a doubt in my mind, and now they're 2000 miles away...
All this not even to mention Caleb, my little brother ( you don't need blood or papers to tell you who you family is) Even when I was in Pearland, Caleb was still an hour and a half away... it seemed so far at the time, but I'de gladly make the drive 5 times over right now to visit him and his aboslutely wonderful family right now.
... it all just seems so far away right now... like another planet, or a distant dream... or even another lifetime.
So yea, it snowed today.... come to think of it that might have been what triggered my homesickness ... I like called mom to tell her it was snowing
the simplest things can make my mom so happy sometimes... it's one of the things I've tried to emulate in my own life
she LOVES all things nature too... I remember we took her to Sedona when they were visiting, and she actually cried at the beauty... some people would call that sappy, but I think it's so awsome that someone can get that much enjoyment out of God's creation
yea... you think I'm nice, I'm a troll compared to my mom... I hate we have to be so far away.
Why does it seem I can only blog when I'm depressed? I hate that. I get on here and just whine to the internet... and when that's all you do you look back on your blog and think "man, I'm whiney" ... that's not how I like to look back on myself as, but maybe it's the truth.
I feel like my faith has been put to the test alot lately. I'm grateful for that in a way, because if you faith is never challenged, you never know why you believe in what you belive in, but still, it leaves you feeling beat up and tired in a way physical activity could never do.
Sorry for whining into this thing for so long ... if you're still reading this thank you.
I hate fishing for compliments more than anything else in the world but I need to hear nice things right now... help?
Have I made an impact on your life in any way? And if so... how?
I love you guys, and I'll talk to you later!
-Ross-
posted by Ross at 10:08 PM
1 Comments:
Yep, our mom is a wonderful person!
I'm sorry you're feeling homesick. I completely understand it and hope we haven't added to your feelings of "not fitting in".
My sister-in-law once told me that it takes about 2 years to feel at home in a new environment and I've found that to be very true! So, all I can say is, hang in there! I think you're making great strides in making your own life. You're always in my prayers! Love ya!
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